About: Time
by toomanypickles
Summary: Sequel to About: Frustration. More Gaasakuness. Oh lordy.
1. Begin

"Heeeey! Sakura look what I learned today!" Benji ran into the shop and did a flip off of the wall onto the counter, ready to show off his new skills.

Sakura tried not to smile at him, as she turned discretely away from the couple she was helping choose a ring. She gave Benji a look that he knew well by now. A look that told him to wait until the shop was empty.

"Oh." He said and jumped off the counter to sit behind it. While he waited he twiddled his thumbs and hummed, the same song Sakura hummed when she was bored or agitated.

Sakura smiled when the couple decided they would think about it and come back later. She wished people would just make up their minds, but there was nothing she could do but smile and hope they would come back.

As soon as they were gone she turned to Benji excitedly. "Show me what you can do!"

Benji smiled and willingly obliged her.

* * *

Gaara was late for dinner. He was late almost every day, mostly because he knew how much Sakura hated it. He didn't have anything else to do that would keep him away, but there was just something about how familiar and comfortable this feeling and situation had become that made him feel… happy. 

Sakura glared at him when he came to sit at the table. "I don't know why I even bother." She sighed, acting the part of a suffering wife.

Not that they were married. After his first 'proposal' eight years ago the subject had never even occurred to either of them. Not to him at least. It was hard to tell what she was thinking from one moment to the next; it changed so often.

"But you don't get it Sakura," Benji said, continuing a conversation they must have been having before he arrived, "She's just so… creepy."

Sakura laughed, "Well she must be really creepy for you to think that. After all, you do live with him." She said, glaring at Gaara.

"I don't even know her name. I don't think our sensei knows her name." He leaned closer to Sakura and gave her a frightened look, "Sakura, what if she doesn't have a name?"

Sakura snorted, "I'm sure she has a name Benji, maybe she's just never told you because you're a big meanie who calls her creepy." She turned her glare to Benji. Despite their fourteen year age difference Sakura didn't act much older than Benji at times.

Gaara laughed quietly and they both turned to glare at him. He quickly dug into his meal to avoid anything they might have to say to him.

"That's it. Outside right now."

Gaara looked up in surprise at Sakura, but she wasn't looking at him; she was pointing at Benji.

"What!" Benji stood from his chair and stepped back.

"That's right! We'll fight for it! If you lose you have to invite her over for dinner, and that other boy too. If you win, then I'll forget it."

"Do we have to?" Benji asked. He was still a pretty lazy kid. "At least let me finish supper first."

"Fine. But quickly."

Benji sat and finished his plate within seconds then the two left. Gaara sat alone at the table and finished his meal at his own pace, and then he went out after them.

He arrived at the practice courts as Benji's doppelgangers disappeared and Sakura grabbed him in a head lock. He grinned; Sakura would fight Benji for anything, and she had yet to lose. Except that one time a few years ago, but she had let him win, and she had a cold. And it was only over a candy.

Sakura dropped his head and danced around happily. "I win! I win! You can invite her over whenever you like Benji.♪"

"Does never count?" he asked.

"You know it doesn't!" she said, smacking him on the back of the head. "But I'll tell you what, just so you're not too uncomfortable, we'll make a night of it, and I'll invite friends too. And Gaara…" she looked up at the spot where he sat, half hidden in a tree. "Well, maybe he'll be on time for once."


	2. 6 years ago

_Benji called him Mr Gaara until the year he turned eight. Before then Gaara had never even seemed to notice that he called him Mr, he had certainly never acknowledged the fact._

_But one week after his birthday when the three of them were sitting on the roof he turned to Benji and said, "Stop calling me 'Mr.'"_

_And Benji stopped. And life went on around them._


	3. Last Night

After practice Benji ran after his team mate and stopped her. "Hey wait up!"

She stopped and turned slowly, watching him with her wide black eyes. Her eyes were the creepiest part of her.

"Um… Would you like to come to my house for dinner next week?" he asked nervously, twisting his fingers around each other. She was silent for a long time, and, afraid she would say no and Sakura would beat him again he went on, "Since we don't really know each other that well even though we're in a cell together… Please don't say no. Sakura will call me a liar and beat me."

She smiled then, a small childlike smile. "If it will prevent you from receiving a beating, then I will come."

"Thanks!" he said and bowed, and she walked away without saying goodbye.

"Hey Gin!" he yelled after his other team mate, "Do you want to come to my place for supper next week?"

"Sure!" Gin yelled back. Benji didn't really like the obnoxious boy that much, but he would make the night easier. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad… Benji sighed and slumped over; who was he kidding? Some days he hated Sakura.

* * *

"I mean, for crying out loud! How long has he lived with you now?" 

"I don't know, eight years?"

Ino slammed her hand on the bar loudly. Sakura watched the liquid in her glass tremble from the impact. She could have broken the bar if she had wanted to… sometimes thinking about how strong they were scared Sakura.

"Eight years is way too long to live with someone and not get any action!" Ino declared loudly. Men turned in their seats to stare at her and she calmly flipped them off while never looking away from Sakura. "Have you even kissed?"

"No."

"Well why the hell not? What are you waiting for?"

"I don't know!" Sakura argued, downing the rest of her drink. When the bartender offered her another she turned him down. "I just… don't know."

"Look, its simple. You love him don't you?"

Sakura drooped over her empty glass. She hated talking about this with Ino; she hated talking about it with herself even. "I don't know." She answered weakly, the same weak answer she gave herself whenever it came up.

"You know what I think? You're chicken. Just kiss him already, I mean, what do you have to lose?"

"What if it's wrong?" Sakura asked. Maybe if she was as drunk as Ino it wouldn't be so hard, but at her current state it was terrifying.

"Then don't do it again."

"What if it ruins everything?"

"Then it's because you're both idiots. Come on Sakura, you're both adults, why don't you act like one?"

"Because it's no fun!" Sakura laughed. She could easily tell Ino why she acted so childish.

"You've got me there." Ino said with a grin and raised her glass to Sakura. "But I still can't believe you two."

Sakura smiled. Ino was a very different person, but that was why she loved her. "Oh hey, do you want to come to supper next week?"

* * *

When Sakura got home Benji was in bed already and Gaara was nowhere to be found. It was usually like this when she went out with Ino. Sometimes Gaara would be watching some late night TV show, and she might sit and watch with him for an hour. But late night TV wasn't very good, and last month their cable had expired and she didn't have enough money to pay for it this month, so the TV was gathering dust. 

She checked to see if Benji was really in bed before heading up to the roof. Sometimes Benji would stay up all night and sit with Gaara. He had some sort of insomnia that kid did. But he was asleep and Sakura ended up sitting all alone on the roof.

"Hey."

"Hey." Sakura didn't move as Gaara appeared on the roof beside her. This was just part of their daily routine, or rather, their nightly routine. Every night they sat on the roof and watched the sky. Sometimes they talked, and sometimes they didn't. Tonight was a quiet night.

Sakura spent the whole next day working up the nerve to kiss Gaara, but when she did see him she chickened out. When they sat on the roof that night she was sure she could do it, but Benji wasn't sleeping so he sat with them and she lost her chance. And she felt sort of relieved.

'Why should you feel so relieved? You want to do this right? If you really don't want to do it then Ino is wrong and you must not love him. Right?'

But when she looked at Gaara she felt different. It wasn't the same feeling she used to feel when she was with Sasuke, it was… worse. It was right in the pit of her stomach, and it refused to go away.

* * *

"Do you ever wish for something more?" 

Gaara looked over at Sakura, at her profile, outlined by the lights of the night. They suited her, the moon and the stars and all the fake light produced by the city.

Sakura watched Gaara nervously, almost fearing his answer.

"More than this?" he grinned suddenly, making her even more nervous, "Maybe I already have more and you don't know. Maybe I lead a second life."

Sakura snorted to push away the insecurity his comment gave rise to in her, "Yeah right. Who else would take you in?"

That shut him up quickly enough. She looked at him apologetically, "You know, I just meant…"

"There is no one else." Gaara said quietly, and then he smiled at her, a smile she doubted anyone else ever saw on his face. A calm smile, free of malice or insanity.

She turned her back on that smile, "Sure there's others. Or at least, one other. Temari would still put up with you. Though, if I were your sister, I wouldn't want to see your face again, after the way you've avoided her." She smiled a little, "Of course, if I was your sister, I'd kill myself…"

"If you were my sister, I would have killed you first." Gaara said, and he made the idea of death at his hands sound so intimate, she almost wanted him to kill her. "But you are not my sister."

"No, I'm not." Sakura repeated and breathed deeply, this was it. "I'm really not."

Gaara looked at her strangely, as though she had just said something completely unusual.

"I've been trying to get at something here Gaara." She said.

"And what is that?"

"Well, when I said something more, I meant more than this." She gestured, waving her hand in the space between them.

"This?"

"I mean… this." Taking a quick breath she leaned forward and kissed him before she had a chance to think about it too much.

It wasn't much of a kiss. Really nothing more than a quick peck on the lips, but it was more than that somehow, or it felt like more to her.

"Oh, this." Gaara said when she sat back.

And then he didn't say anything more. Sakura watched his face, but she still couldn't read him after all these years.

"Well crap…" she whispered to herself, turned away from him. She was wrong about this then; Ino was wrong and he really did feel nothing. If only he had killed her, at any time in the past, all this time they had known each other, if he had just killed her, or left her to die, that would be better.

"Hey." He said, scooting over to sit right next to her. His shoulder pressed against her back. "Is that all this is?"

Sakura tried not to cry, but her swinging emotions made it hard not to. "That's what I'm asking. Do you want more than this?"

"Yes."

Just one little word and everything was broken. With that word Gaara lit the stick of dynamite.

And when he kissed her it was fire. It didn't feel like lightning, or being in someone else's body, and it wasn't just a kiss. It was Gaara.

And then, it wasn't. That part of her, that memory that she had locked away and starved until it was the smallest part of her inner mind fought and bit and scratched it's way back to the surface of her mind and beat down everything else in her. It killed all her reason, kicked the crap out of her love, it ripped her sanity apart at last.

And she was sure that even if she asked him to stop now he wouldn't. She knew that no matter how gently he might be touching her now he would become violent, he would hold her down by her neck and laugh at her. She knew he would rape her now.

"No! You can't do this to me again!" she screamed, clawing at his face, which was no longer Gaara's face, it was that other man's face. It was HIS face. "You're dead! He killed you, you can't touch me anymore! Get away get away get away get away get away get away get away get away get away get away get away…" Her words went on and on, forming a chant, twisting her tongue as she repeated the words again and again to make him go away, but he had already left long ago.

She started to sob, breathing raggedly and rocking back and forth, but she couldn't give up her chant. "Away, get away from me, get away…"

And then there was another touch on her back, someone gentle. 'Gaara's come for me, he's come to save me again.' She looked up happily, but it wasn't Gaara.

"Are you ok?" Benji asked worriedly. "I thought I heard you scream?"

"Oh…" Sakura reached up and cupped his face in her hands. "I'm ok now. I'm going to…" She shook her head, shaking up her memories, tossing away the ones she didn't want.

"Where's Gaara?"

"I don't know." Sakura replied, following Benji's gaze out over the city. "I guess he hasn't come home yet."

"I guess." Benji agreed and helped her into bed, tucking her in and kissing her big forehead good night. "See you in the morning."


	4. 7 years ago

_Benji and Gaara had been living with Sakura for a year before she realized how little space she now had._

"_That's it! We're getting a new place!" she yelled. "I can't stand this crap hole anymore." Benji cowered in the corner away from her wrath until he realized that it wouldn't be directed at him._

_She sat down heavily on the couch and was soon joined by Benji. She put her arm around him and realized that if they got a bigger place they wouldn't sleep in the same bed anymore._

"_How about a house? We should get a house."_


	5. Chopping Block

Sakura looked around dully at the people gathered in her house for dinner. Benji saw her blank looks and the depression that lurked behind them. She had moments like this sometimes, it happened from time to time, but he had never seen her like this before.

When No Name arrived Sakura greeted her, the same as she had greeted everyone else and made her way back into the kitchen. Benji smiled nervously at the girl and followed Sakura.

"I'm almost done supper." She said when he came in behind her. "You should serve them the appetizers now. They're in the fridge." He didn't make a move towards the fridge, instead he watched her as she chopped up vegetables with her usual precision. Except she cut herself today, and as her blood spilled out on to the cutting board she just stood there and watched it.

"Here, let me help." Benji said, grabbing a towel and wrapping up her hand. "Come to the washroom with me." He led her to the bathroom where he pulled the first aid kit from the counter and wrapped her hand in gauze from the kit. "Why don't you serve the appetizers and sit with our company, I'll finish dinner."

"No, no. I can do it Benji. I'm just a little shaky today; I didn't get enough sleep last night."

'Yeah, I know,' Benji thought, 'You haven't gotten any sleep for the past five nights have you?' But he didn't voice his thoughts, he didn't want to hurt her already fragile state of mind.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore, that's all. Go out and talk with people. It was your idea to meet No Name."

Sakura giggled, "No Name? Do you call her that to her face?"

"No." Benji smiled in return, "Maybe you can get her name out of her. That is your mission for the night."

"Yes sir!" Sakura said with a grin and saluted him with her bandaged hand. "I'll get that name for you if it kills me!"

* * *

Benji collapsed on his bed happily. What a night… Sakura had invited Sasuke and Naruto, two of her friends from when she was still a ninja for the village. Their dinner party had been a group of seven (but it was more like eighteen, with how much food Naruto ate), and Sakura had been lacking somewhat as far as the good hostess went. But he had made dinner and everyone liked it, or at least said they liked it, and after dessert and coffee they went their separate ways. 

It was strange, he had dreaded this night so much, afraid of No Name being in his house with other people, but it hadn't been horrible. She mostly just sat there all night, quietly listening to everyone else talking. Once she put her hand on Sakura's and Sakura had taken notice of her and started chatting with her, but after that No Name became unresponsive, seemingly shy.

Well, she had left first. And everyone followed her eventually, except Ino. Ino stayed behind and watched Benji clean up and held Sakura's hand. Ino took Sakura into her room and stayed with her.

Benji smiled sadly into his pillow. Ino was a good friend to Sakura, so she would know what was bothering her, and she would know how to help her. He hoped she would.

* * *

Sakura wrapped her arms around Ino's waist and squeezed her as tightly as she could. And Ino didn't say anything because she didn't know what to say, but her silence hurt Sakura more than just chatting would. Because it reminded her of him, because he was always quiet. 

"He's not coming back is he?" Sakura asked.

Ino rubbed Sakura's back comfortingly, "I don't know… I'm betting he will. He's totally got the hots for you girl."

Sakura rubbed her nose on Ino's shoulder. How long had he been gone? Not even a week yet, and she was so pathetic already.

"If he was just going to leave he would have left you a note wouldn't he? He would at least give you some reason for leaving?"

Sakura frowned; sure there was something, something she was forgetting. Something happened the night he left, didn't it?

"You two are pretty much made for each other." Ino said. She was just talking for the sake of talking now, but it made some memory in Sakura twitch. And she could feel that memory just out of reach, like on the tip of her tongue. If she could just reach it…

She did reach it, and as soon as she had she wished she could forget again.

Ino hugged Sakura tighter when she suddenly burst into tears.

"Ino, he's not coming back…" Sakura sobbed, "I sent him away. I thought he was that other man, I thought he was going to rape me again, and I screamed. He's really gone this time!"

And just as she had predicted, once she started crying she couldn't stop. She had too many tears built up in her system now. It would take a lot of crying to make up for lost years, and now he was lost too.

Ino shook her head, "No."

"What do you mean no?" Sakura asked, tears still flowing down her cheeks.

"There's no way you're going to leave it at that." Ino said. "It's pretty damn obvious I'd say. No more doubting it, you're in love."

Sakura stared at Ino's face for a while in wonder, and then started crying even harder, a feat she thought impossible.

Ino held her closely until the tears finally stopped coming.

"Is this what love is then? This pain? The empty feeling in the pit of my stomach?" Sakura asked, and looked at Ino's face for an answer, but the other woman had fallen asleep. Sakura smiled and hugged her. "Ino, I don't want to be in love anymore."

* * *

In the morning Benji woke up to a much happier Sakura. At first he was wary of her, afraid she was putting up a front when inside she had become even more destructive, but Ino sat at the table with them and smiled reassuringly at him. 

"She's a woman with a plan now."

Benji raised his eyebrows expectantly at Sakura, who smiled and helped herself to more bacon. When he realized she wasn't going to tell him he asked, "And what is this plan of yours?"

Sakura munched her bacon thoroughly and swallowed before answering, "I hope you don't mind, but I'm leaving you alone here for a while. I don't know how long exactly. I'll leave you the money I don't need and if that's not enough you can open the shop when you need more, or keep it going, because I don't want to lose my clientele right?"

"Sakura." Benji said, "What is your plan? You know I can take care of myself, so you can stop babbling now."

"Oh, well… I'm going."

Ino rolled her eyes, and Benji persisted. "Going where?"

"Hm…" Sakura rested her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands. "I thought I'd start in Suna, go see Temari." When she saw the look in Benji's eyes she shook her head at him. "No, you can't come with me to meet her. Not this time. You have to stay here and train and take care of things here. I could be gone a long time…"

"Sakura…"

"Ok Benji. I'm going to bring him back. Since it's my fault he left in the first place."

Benji shook his head, "I'm sure it's not…"

"It is Benji. You don't know what happened, but it doesn't matter. Just… believe me ok? I'm going to find him and make it right again."

Benji nodded, "Ok."

"Good!" Ino clapped her hands, as though she had just seen the ending of a play, "Then Sakura needs to get ready, and you need to go Benji! You're going to be late."

Benji glanced at the clock on the wall and realized she was right. He quickly gobbled down his breakfast and bolted out the door.


	6. 7 years ago and a bit

"_I am in a state of self loathing right now; it was very rude of you to interrupt."_

"_What did you break today?" Gaara had asked, sitting next to her on the roof of their old apartment._

_Sakura made a face that looked likeshe might have been crying, if there were any tears on her cheeks. "Nothing. I just… I was putting him to bed and I looked at him and I realized: I shouldn't be doing it. I'm not his mother. He should still have a mother to tuck him into bed. And if it weren't for me, he would still have a mother."_

_Gaara was silent._

"_I told you; my mother died because she was sick."_

_Sakura turned to look at Benji, who was standing at the top of the stairs._

"_I don't care about that anymore." He went on in his little voice, "I have you now."_

_Sakura stared at him for a long moment and she might have gone on staring at him forever, except for Gaara._

"_You know, you talk way too much."_


	7. The Passing of Time

**Hm, someone asked me how old they were now, so let's see... Sakura and Gaara are around thirty I think, but not quite. Late twenties, and Benji is fourteen.**

* * *

"First stop." Sakura murmured to herself as she stood outside Temari's door. She couldn't really understand why she felt so nervous now, but then again she felt a lot of things she didn't understand. Like insanity. 

'Gah!' She shook her head vigorously to shake away those thoughts and knocked on the door.

A small woman in a dress answered the door. Definitely not Temari.

"Oh, um, hello… Is Temari in?"

"Temari?" the woman had a confused look on her face for a moment but quickly recovered, "Oh, she moved a few months ago! Just down the street; would you like her new address?"

Sakura nodded and took the woman's directions down the street to a smaller house. She knocked before giving herself the chance to think her thoughts.

Temari answered the door this time. "Sakura! What brings you to this part of the world? And why haven't you come before with Gaara? Have you come to tell me he won't see me anymore?" she asked teasingly, shocking Sakura into silence for a moment.

"Wait… You mean, he… He came to see you?"

"Oh, he didn't tell you." Temari shrugged, "Well, I suppose I shouldn't have expected him to tell you; it would be rather out of character."

"Have you seen him lately?" Sakura asked suddenly, grabbing Temari's hands.

"Um, no… Not for a while actually." She eyed Sakura's crazy look, "Has he done something to you?"

Sakura slumped back, "No… I did it to myself." 'I went and fell in love with him. Stupid, stupid me.'

Temari frowned and put her arm around Sakura's shoulder, ushering her into her kitchen. "Don't say that; I'm sure it's more his fault than yours. He is kind of a jerk if you haven't noticed."

Sakura smiled weakly, "Yeah, he is." She looked around at Temari's new kitchen to distract herself from thoughts of him. "I like your new house. It's much…"

"Smaller."

Sakura smiled, "I was going to say cozier, but it's that too. I think it suits you much better. That old house felt so lonely."

Temari laughed, "Any house I live in would feel lonely." She looked at a clock on her wall. "Speaking of which… I'm really sorry Sakura, but I have to meet the Kazekage in a little while, but if you want to stay here I'll be back later tonight."

"Oh. No, that's fine, I was just passing through. It's good to see you again."

"Yeah, you too." Temari said.

They went outside together. Just as Temari was leaving Sakura had the urge to hug the other woman. And so she did.

Temari was so surprised being ambushed from behind she just stood there.

"It really is nice to see you." Sakura said, "Maybe I should come see you more often?"

Temari nodded, "Yeah, definitely. Pass through this way more often." Temari said and grinned at Sakura before turning and walking away.

Sakura watched her go and when she turned the corner turned and walked the other way.

* * *

Benji closed the door behind him, and then turned slowly to face the empty room. The empty house. He felt strange, feeling so lonely; he felt that maybe now he understood how Sakura felt when she told him she didn't understand herself. 

Benji was getting sick of this empty house. And he told the house so, every day when he came home. "I'm getting sick of you house."

He looked down at the postcard that had arrived today. Slowly he bent down to pick it up and brought it into the kitchen to read.

_Hey Benji! Hope you've opened the shop, because you're going to need to soon if you haven't yet! _('Way ahead of you.') _I'm in the Hidden Waterfall Village, and yes it really is as pretty as the postcard looks._ ('It's quite pretty, true.')_ I found a friend outside who brought me here blindfolded, can you believe it? Anyhow, I'm off to the next country tomorrow. You better be eating right!_

_Sakura_

Benji put the postcard on top of a pile of postcards that sat on the counter once he had read it twice, looking for any sign, some hope that they would be coming back soon.

Exhausted from training all day and then working in the shop he collapsed into bed without even eating a supper.

* * *

This is the flow of his time: 

Nothing.

Nothing.

Thoughts of the last place he's been.

Sadness. Wonder why she hates him. What about him?

Anger.

Nothing.

And there's more of nothing.

The wind is so cold here.

Wonder why she hates him.

Nothing.

There is nothing. Without her.


	8. 5 years ago

_Benji came home one day and announced he was going to become a ninja. Sakura and Gaara were sitting at the table-discussing something secret no doubt- but they just stared at him._

_Finally Sakura asked him, "Why?"_

_Benji lost his happy excited look, "What do you mean why?"_

"_Why do you want to be a ninja?"_

_He thought about it for a long time and at last answered, "Because I'm going to be stronger than you. And one day I'm going to beat you!"_

_Sakura laughed, and Gaara even smiled a bit. "But not today."_


	9. With Ino

Benji looked up at the jangle, but the shop was still empty. He got out from behind the counter and went to the door, looked around and, seeing no one, shrugged and went back inside.

"Hey baby!" Ino grinned at Benji's surprised look from her seat behind the counter.

"Hi Ino." Benji replied, hiding his happiness at seeing her. He was sure now he had somehow inherited Sakura's state of mind.

"I thought you were all ninja-y." she said, winking, "And I snuck up on you so easily."

Benji shrugged, "I knew it was you, so I didn't worry."

"Ha!" Ino laughed, and jumped over the counter to hold him in a headlock. "Admit you're a liar and I'll let you go!"

"You're worse than Sakura!" Benji squealed.

Ino let him go and grew serious. "Speaking of whom, have you heard from her lately?"

"Just last week." Benji said, "She's heading into the mountains, so I probably won't be hearing from her again for a while."

"Oh." Ino propped herself up against the counter and twiddled her thumbs. Benji watched her for a while, but it seemed that was all she had planned.

"Hey Ino…"

"Sure you can come stay with me! I get lonely too, now that all my lovers have left me." Ino interrupted. "If you need help bringing anything over, just ask."

"Or you could just read my mind." Benji muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Aw, don't be like that. You know you love it." Ino gave Benji one last parting smile and left before he could reply.

"Do I really?"

* * *

It was chance that Sakura found him at last. If she hadn't been paying attention to the scenery, she might never have found him. 

She was lying in the back of a cart going through the mountains when she noticed something out of the ordinary. Where all the other mountains were capped with snow, that one was covered in what seemed to be sand. It looked like someone had dumped a beach on the top of the mountain.

Sakura jumped out of the cart, filled with new energy and thanked the driver quickly before running towards the mountain.

Though she ran quickly, it seemed the mountain didn't get any nearer, and when she got to the base of the mountain it felt all of a sudden, as though she had been running in place for hours and suddenly got to the mountain. (hehe, Monty Python for you)

She stared up the cliff face, and was surprised not to feel daunted at all. "But really, what's a cliff, when faced with what I'll find up there?" she asked herself, hoping to every god she could think of that she would find what she hoped to find at the top.

And so she started the climb, not even considering resting for a night at the bottom before going up. The climb upwards didn't feel so long anyway, and even that took too long for her.

But when she made it to the top and saw him sitting there all alone with his back turned to her she didn't rush towards him. She didn't move. For the longest time in her life, she just stood there, watching him. What a fool she'd been, spending all this time chasing after him without even thinking about what she would say when she did find him.

Her knees buckled before her mouth opened. She realized in that moment how far she had come, without resting and without eating. She had a sudden irrational thought that she was going to die now, just when she had found him. Before her rational mind had time to push the thought out of her head she blacked out.

* * *

Benji woke up in the middle of the night. No matter how accustomed to it he became, it never stopped getting on his nerves. It was just so ridiculous. 

Sakura thought it was great. She would look at him and then at Gaara meaningfully, though never so that Gaara could see. Once she had whispered to him, "I think he likes it too."

He stared at Ino's ceiling and tried to be mad at her for leaving him alone for so long.

When he heard irregular breathing in the other room he sat up and looked around in the dim light. It was coming from Ino's room .

He stood by her door for a second and prayed she was alone in there before opening the door.

"Ino?" He could see a lump on her bed, and the moonlight reflecting off her long hair splayed over the pillows. She lifted her head to look at him and waved him over.

"What's the matter?"

Benji sat on the edge of her bed and looked at her. She might have gotten away with pretending she hadn't been crying if her cheeks weren't so wet and the moon so bright.

"I was going to ask you that very question." He said.

"I miss her."

"You love her don't you?" Benji said, and as soon as he said it he wished he hadn't, because he was sure they were true. Sometimes he wished he was the type who thought longer before speaking.

Ino smiled, "And you can't even read my mind." She patted the space beside her and Benji moved to sit next to her. "You miss her too."

Benji nodded.

"I don't know what it is about that woman," Ino mused, "She's so insecure herself, to the point of being a freak," she laughed then, softly,"and yet when ever you're around her you feel better about yourself. She makes you feel… right. Safe." She looked at Benji, "You feel it too don't you?"

Benji nodded.

"And now that she's gone…" Ino lay back on her bed. "Do you want to sleep on the bed with me tonight? Even with me, it'll be more comfortable than the couch."

"Ok, but no molesting me in my sleep." He said and lay down beside her.

"I'm a pervert, but I'm not a pedophile." She said indignantly.

Ino turned her back to Benji and closed her eyes.


	10. 4 years ago

_Benji was ten when he earned his head protector. He brought it home proudly and held it up next to Sakura's old head protector. She laughed and gave him a nice cheesy speech along the lines of, "Today, you are a man." Then she tied it around his head like a headband, the way she used the wear hers._

_And he still wore it that way. Gin made fun of him sometimes, but Benji didn't mind, he was happy looking as girly as he did.__At least he had lost all the baby fat that had clung to him until he was nine._


	11. Always, the fighting

When Sakura woke up she was on a rocky mountain cliff. The first thing she noticed was the absence of sand.

"No!" she jumped up and spun around, distraught at the lack of sand. Gaara was nowhere to be found either. What if he had left while she was unconscious? What if he had never really been up here in the first place? She fell back on the ground and put her head in her hands. "No… Just think. You're good at thinking."

But she couldn't think over the sound of the river. 'Wait, river? There was no river at the peak.'

She stood up and looked around again, this time noticing more than the fact that there was no sand. She was by a river, which meant that she wasn't where she had passed out, which meant that someone had to have taken her here.

'At least he cares that much.' She thought, and the thought comforted her enough to let her realize just how thirsty she was.

She was drinking when she heard another noise over the sound of the river. Her instincts and old habits took over for a moment and she hid herself in the trees to watch what was going on.

Gaara appeared right behind where she had been sitting moments ago, holding a dead rabbit in his hands. He didn't even look around before looking right at where she was hiding in the trees. And still he said nothing. He just put the rabbit down and started to back away. Because if she really hated him he wasn't going to stay near her any more than he had to.

"Wait." Sakura whispered when she saw him leaving, then yelled, "Wait!" and ran out to him. "You can't leave!"

He turned to look at her and she stopped in her tracks. The distance between them might have been only some feet, but it felt like miles. It felt like forever.

"I came all the way out here. I traveled this far; I even closed the shop for this long, just to find you. Do you know how much I can't afford this? I'm going to be even poorer when we get home, and it's all your fault. We're going to have to move back into that crappy old apartment, and all for you."

"I…"

"Ah, yes, I did say when _we_ get home, because you had better be coming back! For Benji if not for me. If you hate me now, if you never want to see me again-and I wouldn't blame you- you can just avoid me, but Benji is all alone, and you know, I'm not like you are with him. I know he'd miss you too much for you to never come back."

"Look, I…"

"And that too, that's your fault! Benji's been all alone for however long it's taken me to find you. Geez, how long has it been? And it would be nice if you still want to live with us, with me. I know I said I wouldn't blame you for hating me, but that doesn't mean I want you to."

"Hey! Would you shut up for one second?" Gaara yelled.

Sakura shook her head, "No. If I stop talking then you'll talk and I'm… I'm afraid."

Gaara took two steps toward her, crossing the miles between them, and still there were miles left to go. "Of what?"

Sakura looked at his face and did her best not to cry. "I don't want you to hate me!"

Gaara took two more steps toward her. She felt kind of bad, making him do all the walking. She found she couldn't meet his eyes anymore, so she settled on watching his chest as he crossed the distance between them until they were finally standing close to each other. Close enoughthat she could feel hisbreath on the top of her head.

"Ok."

She looked up at his face, "Ok?" She was disgusted to hear herself hiccup.

"That's what I said."

She frowned, "Yeah, but what the hell is that supposed to mean?" she asked angrily. "Why can't you just talk in normal people's terms?"

Gaara snorted, "I wasn't aware 'ok' is no longer a normal person's term. I must've have been away from civilization for longer than I thought."

"Hey, speaking of which, why didn't you tell me you've been going to see Temari?"

"You never asked."

Sakura followed Gaara as he started down the mountain. "Don't you walk away from me!" she yelled, "You always walk first! Do you think you're better than me? I'll fight you for it!"

She almost ran into his back when he stopped suddenly and turned around. "Ok."

"Stop saying that! 'Ok' what now?"

Gaara looked at her with the faintest trace of a smile. She wasn't even sure it was there, really. "I'll fight you for it. If you win, you can walk ahead of me."

Sakura shook her head, "You're crazy."

"Tell me something I don't know." He said. "Come on, we'll fight. No weapons, including my sand. Just you and me, hand to hand."

"Fine!" Sakura grinned, "But you have to promise not to stare at my butt when you're walking behind me."

Gaara started regretting his decision about halfway through their fight. He really wasn't used to hand to hand combat, and on top of that he had been just sitting on top of a mountain for months. And Sakura was way better than she let herself believe.

He dodged a punch only to be grabbed from behind in a headlock and attacked with a vicious noogie.

"It's no fun if you let me win!" Sakura said into his ear, tickling his cheek with her breath.

He flipped her over his shoulder and chased after her as she flipped backwards onto her feet. Given the chance to be on the offensive he found he just couldn't bring himself to kick her like he meant it.

"Pfft." Sakura grabbed his ankle and smacked him on the head, just as he had seen her do to Benji time after time. "You're pathetic. I quit." She turned her back to him and started walking back down the mountain.

Gaara launched himself at her back, ready to beat her now that she had insulted him so. But when he landed on her she didn't slip him over her shoulder as she should have, she toppled forward with him. Suddenly aware of how close they were to a cliff, and how easily her body would be broken by the fall Gaara enveloped them in a cloud of sand and brought them to the bottom of the mountain.

When they were back on the ground he let go of Sakura and stood back. She sat on the ground, looking at her hands in her lap. Her shoulders weren't shaking were they? The trembling was all in his imagination, wasn't it?

She looked up at him, and she was laughing. "You broke the rules! That means I win! Nyah!" She stood up and brushed off her clothes. "That'll teach you to be a nice guy."

Gaara glared at her, realizing how she had planned for this to happen. "I should've learned from the first time I saved you."

"Yup, you should've." She smiled at him strangely then, and for a long while, making him a little nervous.

"What?"

She shrugged, "You could have let me fall alone." She continued smiling. "But you didn't."

"Thanks for reminding me what I did a few seconds ago. I almost forgot." Gaara said sarcastically, but she just kept smiling that strange smile. He turned to leave when she just wouldn't stop.

"Hey! I get to walk first!" she yelled, and jogged up to walk beside him, "But I guess I'll let you walk with me, just this once."

* * *

"You're happy today." She said while they sat together eating lunch. The way she said it didn't really invite an explanation and it wasn't really a question. She had such a strange way of saying things. Maybe it was because her voice was so quiet; it had no room for feeling in it. 

Gin looked up at her for a moment, but went back to ignoring her when he saw she wasn't talking to him.

Benji nodded, and she smiled. She didn't say anything more, but then, he didn't really expect her to. She hardly ever spoke a word, and when she did, she said strange things that might make more sense if she explained them, but she never explained herself.

The night before when he had gone home to check for postcards he had received another postcard from Sakura. This one saying that it would be the last one. 'They're coming home.' He thought again, for the hundredth time that day. He had checked a map, and asked his sensei and figured that at the longest they would take a few weeks to get back.

That night he and Ino had a special dinner.

"To the return of our family!" She said as they clinked their glasses together in celebration. And Benji liked that thought. 'Our family.'


	12. 6 years ago, maybe less

"_I used to hate you." Gaara said._

_Benji looked up from his book, surprised. Why would Gaara say something like that? Especially now, when Sakura was in another one of her depressions._

_But she looked at him and she laughed. It was strange how the random things Gaara told her would make her feel better. Benji wished he could do that for her. Ever since he was eight, he wished he could do that for her._

"_You know, I used to hate you too."_


	13. Coming home

**Quick warning: I am really bad at writing romance. I don't know why I even bothered trying to write a story like this, but... well there you go. You have been warned.**

**

* * *

**

"It's raining." Gaara said from his post by the window. "I hate rain."

Not that Sakura could hear him from her place in the bathroom. If it wasn't for her soft humming Gaara would have thought she'd drowned in the bathtub hours ago.

When had her humming stopped being annoying and become such a comforting sound, he wondered. He concentrated on the sound of the rain, trying to block out the sound of her strange musical voice, but it was hard.

He looked up when the humming stopped and moments later Sakura came out of the bathroom, her skin pink and clean. She stood in the doorway for a while regarding him.

"You could use a bath too." She said finally, "And a shave."

Gaara turned to look back at the rain, slightly embarrassed.

She walked up behind him, "What now?"

"Nothing." He said and walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

Outside Sakura watched the closed door, but there was no sound from inside. She pressed her ear to the door, but there didn't seem to be any movement inside.

She opened the door to find him standing inside fully clothed and staring at the empty bath angrily.

"Tsk," she tutted at him and nudged him in the back, "Do you need me to help you?"

He turned and fixed her with a look that managed to be both horrified and angry at the same time. "I was just-"

She cut him off before he could finish his sentence and tugged at his shirt, "Lift your arms." Just like a mother she pulled off his shirt and poured his bath for him.

"Come on, get in." she said, strangely unaffected by the fact that he was half naked. 'Well, not unaffected exactly…'

Gaara sat in the bath and didn't move as she rinsed and shampooed his hair. "You should take better care of yourself. We don't want to get back home looking like hobos." She said gently, rinsing the shampoo out of his hair. "You need a hair cut too."

"Now tilt your head back," she instructed. She sat on the edge of the tub so that his head rested on her knees. Carefully she started shaving his chin. It was strange how little hair he had on his chin really, considering that he wouldn't have been able to shave for months.

Gaara watched her face as she concentrated on his chin, but she couldn't help but notice the look in his eyes. His expression was so achingly sad and yet blank of the emotions she wanted to see in them she felt ready to cry again.

Instead she scolded him. "Stop looking at me like that or I'll cut your chin open."

Gaara's lip curled a little upward and he closed his eyes. Sakura stopped her actions for a moment to watch him. Just how black his eyes were. She was about to reach out and touch his eyelid when he opened his eyes again.

"Breathe." he said suddenly, quietly, touching her lips lightly with his fingertips.

Sakura started at his words and realized she had stopped breathing. She watched him take his hand away, feeling a strange sense of loss. She realized she wanted him to touch her now; she wanted him to hold her and how she longed to hold him, to run her fingertips over his eyelids and through his hair. To trace the outline of his tattoo with her lips a hundred times over.

"Would you like me to finish?" he asked.

"No, you just relax. I'm sure you haven't done enough of that lately," she quipped sarcastically, pulling herself back to reality.

He reached up suddenly and grabbed a lock of her hair, pulling it out to its full length, just past her shoulder. "You know, I'm not the only one who could use a haircut."

"Actually, I was thinking of growing mine out again." No, she hadn't been. Why did she say that?

"Hm." Gaara let go of her hair and dropped his hand back into the water with a little splash. "Maybe I'll grow mine out too."

Sakura swore suddenly.

"What?"

"I was just thinking. I was going to say that I'd cut your hair in your sleep." She grinned lopsidedly. "Your condition is quite annoying you know."

"I know."

Having finished shaving his chin Sakura planted a quick kiss on Gaara's forehead and got up. Before she could get out of the bath he grabbed her ears and pulled her face back to his, but then he stopped. Sakura opened her eyes again to find his face so close, but he was just looking at her, asking her. She smiled and descended the rest of the way to his lips.

Finally Gaara let go of her, slowly, reluctantly, and she found she was reluctant too. But she wasn't worried letting go of him now, because she knew they would have plenty of time in the future. She got up out of the bath, stepping out onto a clean white towel. "I'm leaving now, but you still have to clean yourself up proper." She said as she dried off her feet. "If you come out of here smelling like anything other than soap or flowers I'll send you right back."

Gaara snorted at the closed door and looked down at his pants, soaking wet in the tub. Well, he needed to wash his clothes anyway.

* * *

On the third day of walking Sakura got sick of it. 

"I'm sick of walking. This is getting us nowhere fast."

"So?"

Sakura glared at Gaara. "You know, you're really annoying when you're ignoring my meaning." He just watched her with the shadow of a grin on his face. "Can't you… I don't know; fly on your sand or something?"

"I wouldn't exactly describe it that way, but yes."

"So let's go already! I want to be home!"

Gaara stared at her for a little while longer then he held out his hand. She took his hand and they were instantly surrounded by a cloud of sand.

She had expected to feel like she was flying, but the sand under her feet was perfectly solid; it just felt like they were standing still while the world moved past them. She could hardly even see the land they were passing outside. It was just lucky that the sand cleared for a moment when they were just outside the town.

"Hey! Let me down now!" she yelled in Gaara's ear.

"I can hear you just fine with out your yelling. You're standing right beside me." He said as the sand around them fell away and drifted back into his gourd.

"Sorry." She said sheepishly, "I just want to walk the rest of the way."

"Oh, still afraid of being seen with me?"

Sakura frowned at Gaara, but he just grinned wickedly. "Sometimes I hate you, you know that?" she saidd, and skipped back to him to hold his hand, "But right now I'm still just too happy to see you."

Hand in hand they walked back home. And if people stared and pointed at them they did not see, and if people whispered about them, they did not hear. They were home.

* * *

Benji jumped on Sakura the moment he got home and saw her sitting in the living room. "Took you long enough!" He pulled his head away from her shoulder to look in her face, "Where's Gaara?" 

She gestured at the bathroom door with her head, "I think he's nervous, or embarrassed with just how bad his hair looks."

Gaara came out of the bathroom then, apparently he had heard her comment. "My hair does not look bad!"

Benji just stared with his mouth hanging open at his choppy hairstyle. Sakura turned to look at Gaara and was soon rolling on the ground laughing. Gaara gave her what could have been called the 'look of death' in his younger years, but she just laughed.

"Why would you even try to cut your hair yourself?" she wheezed out through her laughter.

Benji tried his best not to laugh at Gaara, but he couldn't really help himself. Gaara growled at them and stormed out onto the roof.

When Sakura finally got herself under control she shrugged at Benji and went into the bathroom. Moments later she came out with a pair of scissors. "Let's go then."

Benji smiled as he followed her to the roof. How marvelous, that at the end of everything they could go back to being the way they were so easily. Well, not the end of everything…


	14. Epilogue

_Every morning she would wake up next to a man everyone feared. She woke up to a face that struck fear into the hearts of anyone who knew of him. She would wake up next to a killer, a man who killed people because it made him feel better. Every morning she would wake up next to a monster._

_And she would smile._


End file.
